Just had a great workout

Been going strong on the 2-a-days!

Feeling better

I hate to say it, but yesterday I did so good..... I went to the gym twice, ate healthy, and then around dinner time I was so hungry. I fixed some egg whites and turkey bacon, but still felt so hungry. A few days ago, I had stopped by Walgreens and got a ton of chocolate. I should have just thrown it away, because I knew it was going to tempt me....And it did. I ran up to my room like a crazy chocolate addict and ate all of it. Then I went to my favorite mexican restaurant and indulged there too. I of course came home, threw up and felt so ashamed.

Today is a new day, and I wont allow myself to do that today... I need to take this a day at a time, and today I have control.

Here is my progress.........

Im back on track....today

Geez, I started feeling like I was never going to be able to get back on track...It took a lot of effort today and mind control, to get outta bed today.....put on those gym shoes......and get my butt to the gym- but I did it! I also ate really healthy and its crazy how much better I feel!

Being Bulimic sucks, and getting over it is very hard. But when I feel like this, compared to how I felt the last couple of days (eating everything in sight and then taking a trip to the bathroom) It makes me realize how much better it is to be healthy. I have a lot of work to do, and I missed out on 3 days of work.

Bulimia is a son of a bitch

I cant seem to get back up after this last fall. These last two days have been full of eating a bunch of shit, and then throwing it all up. I am so disgusted in myself. I want to start feeling good again. I went to the store and got some more healthy food, and Im going to set my alarm clock so I get up at a decent time. I need to jump start my gym to 2 a days to get myself back on track.
Well, wish me luck!
...Tomorrow is a new day

:(

I binged tonight, and I hate to say it but I did purge.
Damn it.
This is a struggle though, and I cant beat myself up about it- I just cant do it again. It was dumb of me and I  am upset. Tomorrow is a new day, and I will wake up and start to eat healthy, work out- and get back on track.
Goodnight

You fall and get back up

Geez....If I were to be graded on this weekend- I would get a big fat F. I was good up until Friday night. Then I went out to a big dinner, of course ate a lot of garbage- and then all day Saturday I ate a bunch of crap, as well as DIDNT go to the gym and as a result I feel awful... My body aches, my stomach hurts, its not a good situation. Of course there will be times that I cant be 100% in my diet, and there are days that I will give in, but I need to remember this is how I will feel and I do NOT like the feeling. I feel slugish and unmotivated, and I feel like a failure, but I need to change that all around. Going back on today, and need to turn it around.

Cant wait for the day....

Im seeing huge results on my upper body...Not so much the bottom half. Its upsetting but Im hoping that I see results soon... I have been doing 20 minutes of cardio a day, and focusing on my arms with weights, so maybe thats why. I know I have stored a lot of fat all over my body, and especially in my thighs and butt. Maybe I should start strength training and doing squats- SOMETHING!


....I cant wait to see an inner-thigh gap, that will be the day:)

Ditched the Scale

I decided to throw out my scale, and just go by how I feel, how I look and how my clothes fit. Its not about being 120 pounds but instead how I feel. Sometimes I can get a little obsessed over a number. In the scheme of things, thats not the most important. Last night, I was so hungry, and couldnt seem to fill myself up! I continued to eat healthy- I did however indulge in some celery with peanut butter, which I really didnt  want to include in my diet, but I did- and I guess its better than going and getting a pizza.

I wont lie, my family is in town and wanted to go to a really yummy breakfast. Thte thought of it sounded so good, and in my head I thought I can just go and eat, and come home and throw up. The bulimia is still an addiction, and even though I havent given into it, its still something I struggle with every day. I need to know that Im making such good progress and if I gave into my addiction it would set me back, quite a bit.

That being said, STILL GOING STRONG! Here are todays results

1 Week mark!

So I started this whole thing a week ago, Well technically a week and a day-but I feel a world of difference... Starting to tune into my body, and knowing when Im hungry and when Im bored. I have no idea how I got so much self control. I know this is not an easy thing to go through, but Im doing amazing. I think I just got to the ultimate low of putting myself through such misery and not even being skinny. I hated the way my clothes fit, or if they didnt fit. I hated the way I looked period. It was so embarrasing seeing all of my family over the holidays and being as big as I was. Im sure they were all thinking I had just blown up. I am on track and it keeps me going knowing that everyday gets easier and I keep seeing such great results. In the last week, my strength and energy have sky rocketed. Last week when I started, and I jumped on the eliptical at my gym, I was exhausted and tired- but now, I OWN that thing- I have such a good workout!

Heres my progress today:

Still not loving the way I look from the front, but I am seeing results from the side view.

Today was hard, but I got through it

Ughhhhh, I went out last night, I drank- a little too much, and of course felt like complete crap all day today. However, I did not slip! I still made it to the gym and ate healthy- but Im hungrier than ever! All I want to do is go gorge, but I know if I do I will be so upset with myself. Im going to bed and hopefully tomorrow I will wake up feeling better!

Almost to 1 week....Big success and Big Results!

I took a day off of blogging and working out, but I continued eating healthy...I feel so great, the weight just seems to be melting off. Besides that, everyday I am feeling so much more energized and the demons in my  head of wanting to binge and purge are slowly going away.
Along with eating healthy, I am also loading up on tons of vitamins-Im taking an AM and PM vitamin I got  from my gym (Lifetime Fitness) as well as Fish oil and Biotin and a bone strengthening supplement

My whole life, I hated Fruits and vegetable. I was the pickiest eater for as long as I can remember. Till about age 16, my diet consisted of any fast food, snickers, and dr. pepper. And then of course when I became bulimic, it was any food in sight- mostly just the really bad foods.

I have had to force myself to eat healthy...I remember getting a small salad, LOADING it with dressing, and forcing it down. It made me gag and it was so disgusting- but I had to learn to like it. Now I love salad and can eat it with minimal dressing... Im still the same way with fruit. I literally went 24 years without eating a single fruit, but now im incorporating it in my diet...I enjoy berries, oranges and pineapple, and Im learning to like apples...I have to blend bananas in my shakes because eating it by itself makes me want to vomit.
Its crazy how different you feel, when you fuel your body with the right things.

I have been doing a lot of research, watching a lot of Dr. OZ and taking bits and pieces from it all, and incorporating into my life.

I found this really interesting and helpful:
http://www.doctoroz.com//videos/alton-browns-superfood-list

Here are my photos for the day:

New Years Resolutions

1. Most importunely not purging...I don't want that a part of my life anymore
2. Personal Hygiene- This is something I have been bad at, since being Bulimic...Not showering or taking a bath everyday, brushing my teeth twice a day, as well as flossing, and taking care of my nails.
3. Gym at least 5 times a week

Happy new Year!

Im so glad I got a jump start on looking good this year! I cant believe the results I have gotten since starting this on Wednesday. I must say Im so happy, and its only the begining.